Don't you want to be popular?

I am sitting with my friend in a corner at a table in our regular pub in the village. We are chatting away and having the greatest fun together. Farther away at the bar is the boy I'm currently 'dating'. At least, still do...

As usual, he is at the centre of attention with his jokes and antics. He has the highest word and is already quite drunk again. I sit with crooked toes waiting for him to sing again. Or puke, because that too is tradition every week.

Then he comes to us to ask if I don't want to join him in a cosy way.

No. He says that well, indeed I don't want to get cozy with them.

He looks at me not understanding. "Don't you want to be popular?" he asks, laughing.

While I think this is a very silly question (because being popular for him is apparently the same as publicly being the buffoon), it is a comment that has always stuck with me.

Don't I want to be popular?

Well. No. Not necessarily.

For me, being popular is synonymous with having lots of social contacts. But in my mind, having a lot of social contacts also means: a lot of (other people's) drama, nagging, hassle, expectations and obligations.

Now that I look back on my childhood as an adult, as a young girl - apparently subconsciously - I thought the same way. It regularly happened that my girlfriends came to pick me up and I made up on the spot that I had to go to my grandmother's, simply because I preferred to be alone to enjoy reading, writing, drawing or listening to music.

When children handed out birthday invitations in class, I secretly hoped I wouldn't get one.

Parties were fun and sociable, I had learned. So I never dared to say that I didn't actually want to go. Especially since other children were happy when there was another party, I didn't understand why I could never be enthusiastic. 

Shy

Nowadays, my real friends can still be counted on one hand and I prefer to meet up with someone one-on-one than with a whole club. Unless I know people really well, then I can manage a group too.

Yet I can still have a great time on my own, too.

Shy I am definitely not. I have performed as a lead singer in various bands for years and for my work I regularly as a fortune teller Entire groups and even halls entertained. 

Although it does help that I am playing a role in that moment and not acting as myself.

I have also noticed that when I spend a long time in a large company, both for business and private purposes, I am exhausted the next day and prefer to retreat all day. Just so I don't have to talk to anyone for a while. Overexcited.

The other day I saw this quote pass by somewhere:

" Extraverts get energy from other people. Introverts get energy from themselves. "

I think this is true. Just look around you. At school, at work, in the media; most extroverts are popular and most popular people are extroverts.

Although appearances can be deceiving and many introverts also play a role that only makes it seem like they are extroverts....

Introvert

Also introverted and sometimes have trouble with the outside world? Find interesting books on this topic >HERE

Pictured: me as a 16-year-old girl with my sweetest boyfriend Thierry.

Who was always waiting for me in the bushes by the library when I walked home from the village at night with my girlfriend.

Who happily hopped along with me in the light of the lanterns for the last two hundred metres home, making me laugh every week at his loud voice that reverberated irritatingly loud in the quiet streets of the sleeping neighbourhood.

Who once inside snuggled up against me warmly and fell asleep deliciously with me.

And who never whined when, as a natural born introvert, I was once again sitting unmade in my pyjamas with a pot of tea on the sofa being delightfully unpopular.

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