Why not everything is predestined. Or actually nothing.

'Predestined' means that something is fixed, that something is inescapable. Well. That would be pretty annoying! Suppose we could no longer make our own choices at all, could no longer make our own decisions. You would like to marry Pete, but alas pork tenderloin; it is already established that you will marry Henkie. Whether you want to or not.

And if it is certain that you will not die until you are 103, you can still live nice and racy on top of that. Feel free to seek danger, especially take lots of risks. It all doesn't matter, you won't go until you pass 100 anyway.

And why should anyone try their best in school at all? After all, it is already certain that he will become an engineer. Or factory worker. Or hippo caretaker. After all, everything is predestined. Right?

It had to be so

‘'It had to be this way,' is a common saying.

Many people like to believe that everything is predestined because it gives them comfort regarding situations they may feel uncomfortable, sad or even guilty about. What happened 'could not have been prevented'. It is nobody's fault, this was 'Destiny'.

Not only unpleasant things are due to the Universe, according to many people, positive things are also due to what the Cosmos organises for us.

Apparently, it gives many people peace of mind if 'it's because of something'. It all has a reason. We don't need to think about it any further, this is what it is. And back to business as usual.

It's meant to be. It's a match made in heaven. It sounds like a fairy tale. And actually it is. Especially with love in mind, chance encounters like to be romanticised. 

Match made in heaven

A young woman is no longer happy in the neighbourhood where she lives. There is neighbourly nuisance and the street is fast becoming impoverished. She moves to another city where she 'accidentally' comes to live next to a single man who 'accidentally' just got divorced. Neighbour invites her for a coffee, they fall in love and a year later they live together.

In this case, we could say:

'It had to be that this neighbourhood where she first lived was so run down. Otherwise, she would never have moved and she would never have met her current partner, this was predestined.'

That's a nice scenario, but this woman still made her own choice to move and buy a house in the very street where this man lived, resulting in a small chance that she would 'accidentally' find a partner here.

It is nice for her that it turned out this way, but if she had continued to live in her previous neighbourhood, she might have been introduced to a sweet single policeman who came to keep order with the neighbours and happiness in love would have 'fallen' to her that way.

So should this have 'been the case'? Or would there also have been probability?

Directed

No one can assure us that this woman was destined to have a relationship with the neighbour she has now met.

No one can guarantee us that if she had made a different choice regarding living, she might just as well (because: 'predestined') have encountered the man she now lives with somewhere on the street.

Events (almost) always happen based on our own decisions. Unless there is illness or misfortune which can happen to anyone based on bad luck. Or of coincidence or luck which fortunately is also common.

But in view of events resulting from our own actions, no one knows what would have happened if we had made different choices and done different things. When one door closes, another opens. And we decide which door this is. And who we let in through it.

So is everything predestined?

No. We are all still in control of our own lives.

And thankfully so.

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