Spirituality is not floaty!

Spirituality is NOT floaty. Point. The reason people still (too) often label spirituality as floaty is mainly: ignorance. Spirituality has several definitions, it is true, but to lump them all together and dismiss them all as 'new age drivel' is rather short-sighted as far as I am concerned. On this page, I will explain what spirituality means to me.

I would explain spirituality myself as: turning your attention from things outside yourself inwards and discovering what actually gives real meaning to your life. What you really need to become better balanced mentally and physically.

So why is it that things like religion, incense, Buddhas, gemstones, tarot cards, meditation and other Zen-like things are directly associated with spirituality? Simple: because many people actually see these things as 'their' spirituality. They are things that give meaning to their exist and where she find a good balance in it.

But since spirituality stands for 'meaning' and keeping the balance between body and mind intact, reading a nice book or watching a good documentary could also fall nicely under spirituality.

Indeed, these are forms of relaxation that can make a very positive contribution to a person's sense of well-being. And relaxation, in turn, is important for creating a good balance between body and mind.

Meaning

So, for these reasons, we could certainly describe activities such as reading and watching TV as useful. Provided, of course, you are aware that you need these moments of relaxation to keep you feeling good in your skin.

Someone who spends whole days on the couch watching Netflix with a bowl of chips within reach, who doesn't think about anything else and doesn't do a damn thing is obviously not spiritual or well-balanced, they are just lazy.

Spirituality is a broad concept. Someone who idolises football or tennis might even get their spirituality from this too. After all, if there is anything that can give meaning to one's existence and improve the balance between body and mind it is sport.

Something that makes you feel good mentally usually also has a positive impact on your body. Whether this is meditating, exercising, a spa day or an evening of dancing.

See for yourself what happens when you are tense. If you are stressed about something you 'have' to do, if you work too much, have too little free time or have an appointment you are dreading. This often has a negative impact on your overall sense of well-being. Your heart rate goes up, you may experience headaches, nausea, poor sleep or other physical complaints.

So doing things that calm you down or adopting a certain attitude to life that makes you feel good is very important to balance and keep your mind and body in balance. What these things are is entirely up to you.

To determine your own spirituality, it is interesting to look inside yourself and ask yourself the following questions:

What are your needs?
What should you be doing more or less of to feel better about yourself both mentally and physically?
What would help balance your body and mind?

My spirituality top five

Following 'my own spirituality', I have drawn up five rules for myself that I try to follow at all times. Simply because these make me feel super good and this way of thinking and doing things has a positive impact on my overall sense of well-being, both mentally and physically.

1. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

I can never please everyone, so why should I try my best at this. Others don't try their best to please me all the time either, so I better make sure I please myself. No matter what anyone else thinks about this.

No matter what I do or say, once people have formed a (negative) image of me, they don't want to deviate from it (again) anyway. After all, it is their truth. Their truth that, for whatever reason, they like to want believe because it suits them in some way.

Trying to argue with this is wasted effort and not really worth it. People with a negative attitude love arguments, so they will try to turn everything I say into something negative anyway so they can react negatively to this themselves.

If someone doesn't like me, it doesn't hinder my breathing. So I let it. Besides, everything that gets attention grows.

So other people's negativity is something I always ignore and avoid.

2. If you never say "no," you will just be one more undifferentiated firm, trying to do a little bit of everything and - almost certainly -you will be superb at none of them.

I don't do anything (anymore) reluctantly. There is nothing worse than dreading something like a mountain for days when I could have just said 'no'. I now mainly do what feels right for me so that later I can look back on all the previous years without regretting the things I didn't do. And certainly also without regretting the things I did do (reluctantly!)....

It is better to focus on just a few things and then get the most out of them, than to fragment my attention too much, resulting in me never becoming really good at anything, or not being able to fully enjoy anything.

Whenever I reluctantly say 'yes' to someone else, I say 'no' to myself.

3. Enjoy the little things in life; one day you'll look back and realise they were the big things....

The older I get, the more I realise that it is mostly the small moments I remember rather than big events. A certain statement from someone, a certain atmosphere, a feeling, a view. Moments to which I paid little attention at the time, but which are still etched in my memory so many years later.

Partly because of this, I now focus as much as possible on real life instead of virtual. I want to make as many fine, new memories as possible so that later I can look back on beautiful and happy moments in a positive way. Not on a virtual life.

4. Don't waste your precious life online

There was a time when I was on the internet almost 24/7. I was constantly on WhatsApp and was on Facebook and Instagram every 5 minutes. An hour on social media slipped through my fingers like water, and for what? What had it achieved?

When I am having tea with my mum, eating out with my partner or doing something fun with one of my children, I always put my phone on silent. Apps are quite fun, but not all day long and especially not when they can disrupt precious moments with my loved ones.

5. Happiness is the new rich, inner piece is the new success, health is the new wealth

Enjoying the little things also includes: working less. Of course work is necessary to exist, but why should I óverwork myself? Balance between body and mind is also important in view of work. Time is money, but free time is priceless.

Owning more than you need or needing less than you own is also a form of wealth. Why would you want to have more than that? I therefore consciously choose less material things and a simpler lifestyle, resulting in more free time to fully enjoy valuable things that are nota bene free:

sports
hiking
bikes
lezen
baden
zwemmen
koken
TV kijken

Kleine dingen die een grote (positieve) invloed hebben op mijn humeur en om deze reden ook op mijn algehele gevoel van welzijn.

Lekker belangrijk

Spiritualiteit is dus voor mij eigenlijk vooral:

Niet alleen fysiek, maar zeker ook geestelijk back to basic.
Tevreden zijn met kleine dingen
Ten volle genieten van alles en iedereen waar ik van houd
Het optimaal benutten van mijn (vrije) tijd
Aandacht besteden aan datgene wat de moeite waard is

En vooral geen tijd en energie verspillen aan dingen/personen die er totaal niet toe doen. Lekker belangrijk.

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Minimalism, live a meaningful life.

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